Let each of us please his neighbour for his good, to build him up.

Romans 15:2 (ESV)

If we only consider what we can gain from a church community, our relationships with others will be transactional rather than transformational. Transactional relationships place one's own needs ahead of the needs of others. As a result, transactional relationships are not happy relationships and will not last in the long run.

We don't use people to make ourselves happy or to fill the voids we feel.

Transactional relationships are motivated by an underlying fear of not having enough, as well as a limited understanding of God's abundant grace and generosity. We read in Acts about Simon Magus, who attempted to buy spiritual power from the apostles. He regarded the gospel as a transactional gospel of religious from which he could profit and enrich himself.

Transformational relationships go beyond transactional relationships and demonstrate genuine love for God and others. Relationships that are transformational have fewer expectations, more appreciation, and mutual love and respect. True transformation cannot occur until and unless there are genuine encounters with God. Paul's encounter with Jesus on the road to Damascus transformed him in ways he could not have imagined. Following that, he had numerous encounters that ignited his passion for the gospel and impacted the lives of others for Jesus.

The truth is that within our church community, we all have a mix of transactional and transformational relationships. However, this should not be the case among God's people. If we are God's children, we are brothers and sisters in Christ to one another. We must cultivate relationships that are deep, meaningful, and mutually fulfilling.

When we are true to each other, we will be willing to take risks and try new things because we know we are in a safe environment of mutual encouragement, love, and acceptance. Then forgiveness, healing, and reconciliation are the greatest gifts we can give and receive from one another. This is at the heart of any transformational relationship.