If your enemy is hungry, give him food to eat; if he is thirsty, give him water to drink. In doing this, you will heap burning coals on his head, and the Lord will reward you.

Proverbs 25:21-22 (NIV)

 

We all must deal with our own attitudes towards individuals who have hurt us and are not remorseful for their actions. Whether they truly deserve to be forgiven or not, choosing to forgive means choosing our peace over the pain. To stay angry and unforgiving is to remain a victim. In doing so, you continue to give power to the person who has hurt and grieved you. Then you become a double victim, being hurt, and staying hurt.

Besides being forgiving, there is one more thing we can do to make our forgiveness meaningful. Jesus encourages us to pray for our enemies and all those who wish us harm. Instead of wishing bad things on them, choose to do good for people who despise or loathe you.

In Romans 12:19-20, the Apostle Paul referenced Proverbs 25:21-22 to admonish believers to be proactive rather than reactive. He used the idiom, "heap burning coals on his head" to express the idea that doing good is preferable to inflicting evil. This idiom goes back to ancient times, when a person's fire would go out at night, he or she would go about the village with a basket on their head, and the neighbours would each put a burning coal to help them restart their fire. This act of kindness is to rekindle friendship, and not remain cold-hearted.

Is there someone you find difficult to forgive?

Ask God to help you find peace and forgiveness. It may appear impossible for you to let go of the heavy load in your heart, but if you pray and believe in God's promise and provision of grace, you will not only overcome the evil done to you, but also be given the opportunity to do right by God.

Be mindful, and do not expect the other person to reciprocate or appreciate your generosity and kindness. Sometimes the relationship has become too strained or too toxic to fix in a moment. Trust God to judge rightly and without injustice. Do what God is leading you to do and leave it to God to bring reconciliation and restoration.