The man said, “The woman whom you gave to be with me, she gave me fruit of the tree, and I ate.” Then the Lord God said to the woman, “What is this that you have done?” The woman said, “The serpent deceived me, and I ate.”

Genesis 3:12-13 (KJV)

 

Blaming others for our actions is as good as admitting that we have no control over our words, ideas, or emotions. This causes us to lose our objectivity and ability to perceive the underlying problems in our relationship with God and others. Adam did exactly that: he blamed Eve and God for giving her to him in the first place, while Eve blamed the serpent.

While blaming allows us to avoid taking personal responsibility, it also hinders our ability to grow and form good relationships. When you use someone else's behaviour to justify your own, you are effectively relegating your responsibility to do things right. Nothing is addressed or healed when you are caught up in your own false sense of entitlement.

When Jesus died on the cross for everyone, he never blamed anyone. Although His death was unjustified, the purpose of His sacrificial act was to end our hostility towards God and others. This helps us to begin the process of forgiveness and reconciliation.

Forgiveness is a gift of freedom that we offer ourselves as well as to others. We forgive without waiting for others to feel sorry or remorseful. Instead, forgiving them alleviates the misery of blaming and eliminates the rationale for remaining a victim. This paves the way for healing in ourselves and reconciliation towards others.